How to Bloom in Difficult Times - a Special Event Recap

Featured Event Flyer made by Destiny Charles

There really is something so invigorating about getting dolled up, and for a tea party no less. These past few months I was part of a team of women at my church that pulled together "Virtue in Bloom", a ladies tea party at our Orthodox parish.

It was a labor of love, as well as a challenge that pushed me to grow in relationship with the women around me. And when the special day finally came, it was blissful. We had beautifully decorated tables with teacups, tea pots, and a single flower at each seat to thank our guests for being there and remind them of the purpose of the event: for us all to bloom.

We raffled gift baskets, connected over discussion questions at each table, and contemplated on our keynote speaker's tips for creating a lasting legacy as Orthodox women. Our panel discussion allowed a rare opportunity for intergenerational wisdom and encouragement.

We discussed questions of maintaining our spiritual identity when life seasons change - like career and relationships. And how to discern when God is calling you into a new season. But best of all, as per the theme of the event, exploring how we could be more like Mary in her virtues and love for Christ exposed us all to a myriad of possibilities.

Here are a few things that stood out to me that I plan to use to develop into the woman I hope to become.

Let Go and Let God

When life keeps hitting you, back-to-back, you're not in a corner. Rather, the best thing to do is to focus on the next thing. This isn't to say to neglect the things that you know need to be dealt with. Neither is this to say that the outcome of events is entirely your responsibility and fault.

A guest asked about how to maintain their faith and strength in such hard circumstances, and another older woman decided to impart some wisdom. She said that her years have taught her to focus on the next thing that God has placed in front of her. As for the rest of the things, "let go and let God". It's miraculous how many things resolve themselves when we decide to trust God with them, especially in difficult times.

Recognize that what you may call distractions or "yet another hit from life" are probably actually God redirecting you to something more important and edifying for you. Perhaps the small fires in your life are what you consider "distractions", like your kids needing you in a busy moment, or your parent's mundane request while you're in the middle of a phone call you've been waiting for all day.

Maybe that distraction is just redirection to what God knows you can handle. Maybe He's telling you, "Don't worry my child, I've got this one. Go handle that instead." Maybe he's telling you to take a chill pill, or he's showing you how to be more loving or flexible. Either way, He allowed that next "hit" to come at you for a reason. Trust in Him. He's teaching you something important.

God's way is humbling, but it's always better

A few years ago, I caught myself filling up Pinterest boards, quitting jobs, and cutting up magazine photos to envision the life I wanted to orient myself toward. As time passes, I find that every plan God rejected and destroyed in my life wasn't the curse that I felt it was in the moment.

One of our panelists mentioned that in her most fulfilling endeavor, she began with a plan so meticulous and seemingly fool-proof that she couldn't have imagined that she'd think of giving up as much as she did. Yet, she couldn't ever come close to imagining that God would bless her and her team as much as He has either.

His plan is always humbling, to remind us that it's Him that's in control, not us. Yet in His love and tenderness, He always presents a better way as we continue walking in faith. Like Peter walking on water toward Jesus, fear only makes us sink, but faith allows you to see God work wonders in your life.

Keep your eyes set on Him and remember that His "No" is not a rejection of you personally, but rather a redirection toward what He actually has in store for you. A robust future, a miraculous calling. And no one will be able to say they did it because it will be far too amazing.

The lives of the saints are our lessons; they are our mentors

"How do we find and nurture the relationships we have with women that we hope to have as mentors?" What a way for a young woman to say "Help, I have no idea what I'm doing or where to start to fix it all". I've personally found that having mentors for seasons and for different areas of life has been a rewarding technique for life, and I've found that it works just as richly in a church community.

Here, we're called to love one another in every season of life, and we get many opportunities to see each other rise and help each other back up when we fall. Watching older women navigate the ebbs and flows of each season of life makes for a fuller experience of mentorship. Yet, what better female mentor is there to teach us how to be a virtuous woman than the Mother of God herself?

Let Mary Be Your Mentor in Difficult Times

Our keynote speaker provided us all with an interactive assignment that I'll now share with you. Pull out a sheet of paper and write at the top of it "My Daily Routine". Roughly list all that you might do on a typical day. This doesn't have to be perfect, I'm sure not every day may look the same. Now, recognize that every process that you perform on a given day is an opportunity to pray. Ask her to guide you, to give you advice and wisdom, to pray for you on your behalf. You may not be roaming in a literal desert like St. Mary of Egypt was, but you might find yourself in a desert in your own heart. Let her guide you as she guided Christ in His youth. Then, in the midst of your desert roaming, take a breath, close your eyes, and say, "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner".

Fly back soon, Hummingbirds!